This is a common greeting.
Everyone says it. I say it. Few mean it.
My common response is, “Good. How are you?”
Most of the time it’s true; I am good.
Sometimes I have things going on.
Sometimes I don’t feel like sharing with the person who’s asked.
Two reasons for that.
1) I don’t know them well enough to share.
2) I don’t think they care to know anyway.
How often does someone ask you how you’re doing, and truly WANT to know how you’re doing, REALLY?
How many people WANT to LISTEN to your answer?
I “know” a lot of people, meaning on a “hello” and “how are you” level. I live in a place where I interface with many people on a daily basis.
Counting everyone together, I can count on my fingers the number of people who ask, “how are you doing?” Who really wants to know and wants a real answer.
I can tell by how they ask. And those few people are consistent.
People have all kinds of shit going on. All the time. It’s rare that it’s all “good” at the same time.
And rare is the person who can compartmentalize it all and be “good” while life is life-ing all around them (I put myself in this group).
So, when someone asks you how you’re doing, do they REALLY wanna know? Because the answer could be messy. Not everyone is equipped to deal with mess.
Most would rather you lie and give us the clean, “good” answer.
The people who really want to know, who want you to answer honestly — keep them around. They actually care.
The number of people who actually CARE about how you’re doing is fewer than you think. The number doesn’t get bigger because you have fans or followers.
How are YOU doing?